Smash the Idols Summer Weight-Loss Tour

As Your Child Loses, The World Wins. Activate Your Inner Activist

It’s every parent’s summer dream to find a safe environment where kids can exercise, learn positive social values, see the world and even perhaps shed a few pounds. The troubled times that we are now living in have created a once in a lifetime opportunity to combine all of these in a traveling summertime experience Smash The Idols( not to be confused with the antifa program smash the idle or in fact, American Idol) .

Imagine your teenager in an air-conditioned bus equipped with comfortable bunk style beds with a fully equipped gluten free, vegan catering kitchen surrounded with other West Side kids traveling through the small towns of the high country and the cities of the Southwest. Their three week sojourn will fly by following a carefully curated route focusing on correcting the narrative that has hidden the suppression of our Native American forefathers by the brutal and savage pioneers. Imagine your child having the thrill of pulling down a statue in front of the Alamo, one that glorifies the seizure of land appropriated from the indigenous peoples by the Spanish invaders. We will even explore the controversial hypothesis that the current accelerated wave of CoVid 19 in Texas is in some way the result of bad karma from the actions of 19th century settlers.

The Camp communicates that statute smashing has a proud tradition in America. We make a stop in Ashland to work with the Oregon Shakespeare Festival team where we offer a drama and motion workshop followed by a choreographed reenactment of tearing down of the statue of King George III in New York City in 1776 after the assembled crowd witnessed a reading of The Declaration of Independence. Here we are in Hamilton territory.

Our program is a well balanced physical, mental and social health agenda that is in the capable hands of historians, fitness experts, nutritionists and civil engineers who will make sure that every smashing is safe, educational, aerobic and also efficient.

Not only will our campers have a once-in-a-lifetime sense of what it’s like to make history they’re going to lose weight too because pounding, cutting, carrying and dismantling statues is a proven regimen. Our sessions are selling out fast although we do have contingency plans to extend the summer programs through the fall if school sessions are cancelled. And we are applying for full accreditation for our program.

Cost of each three week session is $5000 that includes transportation to and from the tour start location in Gallup, New Mexico as well as all deconstruction tools, meals, safety equipment such as hard hats, surgical masks, safety goggles, steel toed boots, and fees.

Of course every kid (we call them operators) will receive a beautiful Smash The Idols Summer 2020 Tour T shirt and a framable Smashing Young Smasher certificate of achievement.

It’s not too early to start planning for next summer’s action packed trip to Egypt where we have our work cut out for us with the dismantling of the Great Pyramids, those lingering monuments to the despotic power of the pharaohs.

Selection Process:
Many of our kids join us with extra pounds. Our goal is to create healthy habits that will last a lifetime. While we actively discourage fat shaming we know that peer pressure is a great educational tool. For that reason we offer scholarships to role models, kids with low body fat and exceptional athletic skills, many of whom have worked on demolition and logging crews. We also include a highly accurate YRI (young radical impostor) screening test as part of the camper application to avoid unwanted false drama and keep those potential troublemakers off the bus.

Typical Tour

Alamo Cenotaph
El Cid, Balboa Park, San Diego
The Equestrian Don Juan at El Paso Airport
Little Big Horn, Montana (combined with a trip to Glacier National Park) and the nearby Hayfield Fight and Rosebud Battlefield monuments
Billy The Kid Grave, Ft. Sumner New Mexico
Oregon Shakespeare Company, Ashland

Smash the Idols Camp
Sick Bureau Chiefs
Isaac & Elizabeth
[email protected]